College move-in day can be challenging for parents. You watched your teen grow and change throughout their K-12 years, but this is different. Now, they’re taking their first steps toward adulthood. While your teen learns the ropes to college life, you’ll have to balance experiencing an empty nest while parenting a college student—whether they move across town or across the country. To help you prepare to send your freshman to college, review this back-to-school guide for the ideal college packing list and other advice for parents of college students.
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How Can Parents Help Their Freshman Pack for Dorm Life?
Deciding what to bring to college depends on your teen’s needs and their dorm’s requirements. Some college dorms offer apartment-style living, where each student has their own room and may need to bring their own dorm furniture, while others come fully furnished. Regardless of the dorm style, parents can make packing easier by helping their child prioritize dorm room essentials and stay organized.
Start with a Dorm Checklist
No matter what style of dorm your child has opted for or been assigned, there are several dorm room essentials you should ensure are on your first-year student’s dorm room checklist. Starting with a checklist helps ensure nothing important is forgotten and gives you and your teen a clear plan for packing, keeping you both organized and making move-in day less stressful. Plus, it’ll show you what you already have on hand and what you need to get. Some important items to put on your packing list for college include bedding, shower essentials, clothing, and more.
Encourage Communication with Roommates
Before college move-in day, encourage your teen to communicate with their roommate(s) to coordinate who’s bringing what. This helps to avoid duplicate items—like mini fridges, microwaves, coffee makers, and rugs—and ensures everyone has what they need. It’s also a great way for your student to start building a positive relationship with their college roommate before move-in day.
Know Where to Look for College Dorm Essentials
Finding and purchasing dorm room essentials doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Parents can start with a mix of budget-friendly, convenient options, such as shopping garage sales, thrift stores, and online marketplaces—like Facebook Marketplace, Craigslist, OfferUp, and Nextdoor—to find used dorm room furniture like desks or chairs. You can also look to big-box retailers with college checklists or registries to help stay on track. Talking to other parents of students is a great way to get store recommendations and figure out must-have items that are worth buying.
How Can Parents Help on College Move-in Day?
Once you’ve gathered everything your student needs, it’s time to prepare for move-in day. Helping your child pack, unpack, and move into their college dorm is a great way to support your new freshman—and it can be an awesome bonding experience. To make the moving process easier, here are a few dorm move-in tips to help everyone avoid feeling overwhelmed.
Prepare for Dorm Move-in Day
Reduce stress on move-in day by taking the time to plan ahead together. Confirm with your child their move-in time, review housing rules, and reserve a hotel near the university well in advance, if needed. Before leaving home, help your new college student practice doing their laundry—maybe with their new bedsheets! You can also remove packaging from new items to save luggage space and time while unpacking at the dorm. Pick out practical outfits for moving in and pack plenty of snacks and water bottles.
Clean & Unpack
On move-in day, get to campus early to avoid the rush and check your student in. Once there, inspect the dorm room for damage or potential issues, like the lofted bed not having a ladder. Another helpful tip for moving into a dorm is to take time to clean it thoroughly while it’s still empty. Make the bed to get mattress pads, pillows, and blankets out of the way—plus, this will give you a space to lay items down as you continue unpacking.
Give Them Space
It’s natural to want to help with every detail—but your teen needs time to adjust on their own. Help them begin to build independence by encouraging them to take the lead in unpacking and organizing their dorm. You can suggest unpacking items your student will need first, but let them take the lead in setting up their space. This can help your student feel more capable and at-home in their new environment.
Help Them Settle In
Once you’re done helping your freshman move into their dorm room, tie up any loose ends. Head to a local retailer to grab any dorm room essentials you might’ve overlooked or trendy dorm decor your child wants to add. It’s also a good idea to help your student become familiar with campus and nearby stores, such as the local pharmacy, dental offices, grocery stores, or hair salons. Knowing their surroundings can help them adjust more quickly to their home away from home.
Make Goodbyes Easier
Move-in day brings a mix of highs and lows for everyone. Try to stay positive to help your student manage any mixed emotions they may be feeling. Avoid being overly dramatic or giving prolonged goodbyes. Instead, give your student a short hug with encouraging words. If you’d like, celebrate this milestone and show your child how much you care with a small gift or handwritten letter. You may feel emotional, but reassure yourself—and your student—that you will check in later with a text or call once they’ve settled in.
How Can Parents Cope with Empty Nest Syndrome?
There’s always a period of transition when children leave home, and assessing your own feelings will help you determine the best way to move into this next phase of life. For some, this is an exciting opportunity to reclaim time for themselves. For others, coping with an empty nest is challenging. Everyone’s feelings are as unique as their situation, but there are plenty of ways to make the best of parenting a college student. Here’s some of the best advice for empty nesters:
- Acknowledge & Process Your Emotions: It’s normal to feel sad about not having your child at home. Give yourself time to adjust and process this major change.
- Stay in Touch: Send occasional texts and plan calls or video chats around their new routine. Later, see if there are parents’ weekend events, or ask to treat your child and their friends to dinner.
- Embrace Change & Avoid Boredom: Think about these changing dynamics as a new beginning for you, too. Start that home remodel, sneak in more date nights, or consider taking up a new hobby.
- Prioritize Your Relationships: Use this newfound time to reconnect with friends, deepen your partnership, or spend quality time with family for comfort during this transition.
- Utilize Resources for Parents: If you’re feeling empty nest anxiety or blues, know you’re not alone. Join a parent support group or take advantage of parent and family resources through your child’s university.
How Can Parents Support Their Child During College?
The transition to college is a major milestone for everyone, and it’s natural for the parent-child relationship to change during this time. As your child gains new independence, your support helps shape their confidence, problem-solving skills, and impacts their ability to thrive academically and socially. By finding the right balance between offering guidance and giving them space, you can maintain a strong, healthy relationship that continues to grow throughout their college years. Consider these tips:
- Avoid Hovering: Allow your child to reach out first to show that you value their independence. Don’t try to manage their schedule—trust that you’ve equipped them with the tools they need to thrive.
- Encourage Campus Involvement: Help your child build a strong support system by encouraging them to stay on campus over the weekend, attend campus events, join clubs, and more.
- Let Them Be Their Own Advocate: Rather than jumping in to fix problems, nudge them to find a solution on their own—reminding them of the resources available to them on campus.
- Promote Self-Care: If you notice your child struggling, gently remind them of the importance of developing healthy habits for sleeping, eating, and socializing.
- Keep Your Child’s Room Intact: Preserve your child’s room as much as possible—with so much change in their life, your new college student will likely crave their familiar, safe place back at home.
- Be Prepared to Advise & Compromise: Offer guidance when your child asks for it, and discuss boundaries openly and honestly to ensure everyone enjoys their time together when your teen visits home.
- Develop a New Normal: Try to strike a balance between connection with your child and allowing them the freedom to grow.
- Celebrate Milestones: Stay involved in your child’s life by recognizing birthdays, academic achievements, milestones, and special events.
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