Helping children cope with moving to a new home can be challenging—and the experience can vary widely depending on your child’s age, whether you’re moving to a new city or just a new neighborhood, and if your child will be changing schools. Whether you’re moving for a new job or a military family relocating to a new base, how you approach saying goodbye to a home full of memories is important for your child’s wellbeing. Read more about how to help kids cope with moving.
How Moving Affects Kids
Every child reacts to a move differently, but some patterns are common. Knowing what’s typical and how your child’s age plays a role can help you set realistic expectations and respond with patience.
Is It Normal for Kids to Struggle with Moving?
Struggling with moving is normal for anyone, but especially for kids. A shift in routine can cause sadness, confusion, anxiety, grief, or even tantrums, making moving to a new community difficult. However, with the proper resources and support, kids can eventually adjust to a new home and find a new normal.
How Long Does It Take Kids to Adjust to a Move? (By Age)
Generally, the younger a child is, the easier it will be for them to adapt to a new house, school, or social scene. Here are some basic estimates for how long it will take your child to get settled after a move, depending on their age group:
- Infants & Toddlers: Moving with toddlers and infants can be challenging, as they’re sensitive to changes in their daily routines. However, they typically adjust the quickest, often responding more to their caregivers’ stress levels than to the move itself.
- Elementary-Aged Kids: The impact of moving schools can be strong for K-5 children, as they have likely formed some real social attachments—so it may take several weeks or months for them to fully adjust to their new environment.
- Tweens & Teens: Middle schoolers and high schoolers will likely have the most difficulties with moving, as they have already formed strong peer connections and have a growing sense of identity. This age group can intellectually understand the reasons for a move, but it doesn’t make the disruption to friendships, routines, and in some cases academic plans any easier, especially if it takes place close to graduation. Moving as a teenager will likely come with some tension between parent and child.
Ways to Help Kids Cope with Moving
You can’t make a move stress-free, but you can make it easier for your kids to handle. Try these strategies to help your kids feel heard, say goodbye, and start feeling at home in their new space.
Talk to Your Kids Early—& Let Them Ask Questions
Some parents may struggle knowing how to tell a child about a relocation—but the most important key to helping children cope with moving is early communication, reassurance, and involvement. Younger children might struggle with the concept of moving—whether it’s to a new house in the same area or a completely new community—and may benefit from reading children’s books about moving to help them understand. In any case, explain why the move is necessary, what is changing and what will stay the same, and be available to answer any questions your child might have. If the move affects a school year—especially for older children—talk through the academic logistics and discuss how activities like sports will be impacted. Where possible, let a teenager upset about moving weigh in on the move’s timing—especially around key events like a semester or athletic season—even if the final decision isn’t theirs to make.
Make Space for the Hard Feelings, Not Just the Positive Ones
Moving is often framed as an exciting fresh start, but for many kids it can come with a heavy emotional toll. Grief, anger, and anxiety are all appropriate responses to the news of having to move. Instead of rushing to “fix” or explain their feelings, validate your child by saying something like, “That makes sense. I’d feel that way too,” or “I’m also really going to miss our house.” A pre-teen or teenager may be especially upset and repeatedly protest the move. Let your kids know that they are allowed to feel whatever they need to feel about the move, but remain firm that it will happen if it’s already in motion. Helping kids with transitions requires building trust through active listening and letting them know you are there to support them. Your child may feel everything has changed, but it’s important to show that your love and care for them will stay the same.
Find Closure Before You Go
One of the hardest things about moving with kids is leaving your current home behind. There are several things you can do with kids to help them cope with moving and find closure:
- Say Goodbye to Your Home: Find ways for your family to honor your current home, like having your kids write a goodbye letter to the house or simply listing fun memories they have. Or do a craft project together—like creating a scrapbook, collage, or another piece of art featuring photos and other memorabilia from your old house.
- Say Goodbye to Your Neighborhood: Visit all your family’s favorite places together one last time before the move. If your new home isn’t too far from your current one, reassure your children that they can visit their old neighborhood again.
- Help Kids Maintain Friendships: Help your younger children establish lines of contact with their friends so they can call, write letters, arrange for visits, or connect on social media (if age-appropriate).
- Involve Children in Decluttering & Packing: Give your kids a sense of control by letting them go through their toys, clothes, and other belongings to decide what to take to the next house and what to declutter or donate to a secondhand shop.
Help Them Build a New Sense of Home
Helping children cope with moving involves building excitement about their new home. Encouraging children to personalize their new space and find new favorite places can also help them feel more comfortable and confident during this adjustment period.
- Take Kids on a Tour of the House: If you can, tour the new house with your kids before moving day so that their first introduction to it isn’t colored by moving stress. Show them their bedrooms, playroom, and backyard so they can start envisioning themselves there. If it’s not possible to tour the house ahead of time, showing them photos can be a good alternative.
- Set up Kids’ Bedrooms First: After the move, set up your kids’ bedrooms and playroom first before working your way through the rest of the house. This can give them a sense of comfort during the transition. Use favorite toys, mementos, and artwork from their old room to help make the space feel cozy and familiar.
- Explore Your New Neighborhood: Go on a walk around your new area and introduce your family to neighbors to start forming new community connections. Find the local parks, ice cream shops, libraries, or museums—and if your child is moving schools, stop by the school they’ll be attending.
Keep Routines the Same
Children’s routines are important for development under any circumstances, but especially during a life change. Keeping familiar routines after a move to a new house can reduce uneasiness and provide kids with security even when everything else is different. Eat meals at the same time, keep bedtimes consistent, and maintain weekly family traditions like Taco Tuesday, Sunday movie nights, or storytimes.
Take Care of Yourself, Too
Parenting during a move is hard, and you may sometimes feel overwhelmed by it. In addition to taking care of your kids’ needs, it’s crucial to take care of your own physical and emotional wellbeing to handle moving stress. This might mean treating yourself to a spa session or dining at a favorite restaurant rather than cooking at home. Practicing self-care can also look like journaling, taking a few minutes to meditate, listening to music, watching a favorite show, or working out at the gym. Celebrate small victories along the way, and remember that the challenges you’re facing during the move are temporary.
Know When to Seek Extra Support
If your child is still struggling to adjust after a longer period of time, helping children cope with moving sometimes means asking for outside help. This doesn’t make you a bad parent—it makes you a caring and proactive one. If your child shows persistent signs of depression or distress or it begins to affect daily life, consider getting a reference for a child and adolescent counselor or psychiatrist from your child’s pediatrician. Warning signs can include ongoing social withdrawal, significant changes in sleep or appetite, declining school performance, excessive worry, irritability, or noticeable changes in mood and behavior. You can also ask your child’s teacher or guidance counselor to monitor how they’re adjusting to school. With time and the proper support, your child will be able to adjust and thrive in their new environment.
FAQs
Is it normal for my child to be sad about moving?
It’s understandable that your child feels sad about moving, especially if they’ll be starting a new school. Give it time, and allow your child to mourn the loss of their old home, friends, school, and activities—while also presenting the move as a positive new opportunity.
How long does it take a child to adjust to a new home?
Infants and toddlers tend to adjust to a new home the quickest, while it may take school-age children and teenagers a few weeks, a few months, or even a year to fully settle. Some children like the adventure of a new home right from the start, while other children may be upset about disruptions to their routine or friend group.
What are signs my child is struggling with a move?
Academic struggles, sleep problems, lack of friends, or prolonged negative feelings of anger, sadness, or loneliness that won’t subside can all indicate your child is struggling to adjust after a move. Helping children cope with moving includes seeking professional help if needed from school counselors or your family doctor.
Does moving affect younger kids differently than teens?
Moving tends to affect younger kids differently than teens, as older children will usually experience greater disruptions to school life and established friendships. Younger kids tend to socially adapt more easily, which is helpful if they have to be the new kid at school. Kids not yet in school may not fully understand the concept of moving or why it may be necessary, which can be confusing for them. However, most kids of all ages will eventually adjust after a move, given enough time.
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