Moving in with a roommate? While this can be an exciting experience, living with friends or someone you don’t know can also be stressful at times. Whether you’re moving for college and into a dorm, or you’ll be sharing an apartment or a house, here are seven tips to help you create a positive, comfortable environment while living with roommates.
Discuss Finances Beforehand
Living with roommates involves more than getting to know each other—it also means splitting living costs fairly. Bring up the discussion of finances before moving in together, establishing clear expectations for how bills and rent will be split from the beginning. Planning for shared expenses like rent, utilities, groceries, internet, and streaming services—as well as deciding who is responsible for making the payments—can help prevent conflict and tension between roommates. Even if you’re living in a dorm where most costs are billed individually, it’s still important to discuss costs for shared household supplies like cleaning products and paper goods.
Establish Ground Rules
To help avoid misunderstandings and tension, establish rules and boundaries that you and your roommate agree on. This is especially important if you’re sharing a small unit or studio apartment with little personal space. Remember, you both live here, so don’t feel bad about telling your roommate what you need. Here are a few areas where you should establish healthy boundaries:
- Household rules: Discuss chores, kitchen use, quiet hours, and rules around sharing each other’s belongings and food.
- Guests & visitor policy: Agree to tell each other when a guest is coming over, and establish when and where guests are allowed.
- Personal space: Distinguish which areas are private vs. shared spaces.
Know Each Other’s Schedules
Understanding your roommate’s schedule helps create a strong living arrangement that is respectful and cooperative. Knowing each others’ work schedules, school hours, and morning and night routines can help you schedule time to complete shared chores and plan when you’ll have time to yourself in the space. To help keep track of your weekly schedules, consider using a calendar that can be placed on your fridge—or create a digital calendar that can be shared between the two of you.
Share Chores & Responsibilities
Split chores and responsibilities evenly between you and your roommate to prevent the burden from falling on just one person. First and foremost, tidy up after yourself. Cleaning up your own mess shows that you hold yourself accountable and makes you more enjoyable to live with. Daily and weekly household chores like loading the dishwasher, tidying up the living room, and taking out the trash should be divided, with each person having a set list of responsibilities. You can also take turns cooking—or you might prefer to cook your meals separately. Make decisions together, and consider creating a chore schedule to help ensure fairness—splitting tasks by frequency, or dividing them by area. Remember to stay flexible, since there may be times when someone needs to adjust their responsibilities due to other scheduling needs.
Establish Heathy Roommate Communication
When living with a roommate, being kind and courteous is essential to preventing problems and arguments. Be considerate, communicate concerns calmly, and respect each other’s personal space and privacy. When conflicts do arise, utilize strategies for conflict resolution. If you are the one in the wrong, learn how to apologize to show you are committed to maintaining a positive roommate relationship.
Spend Time Together
Spending time with your roommate can help you build a stronger relationship. Taking the time to get to know each other better can also make shared living a more enjoyable experience for both of you. Schedule regular hangouts and bond over roommate activities like watching a TV series, hosting game nights with friends, getting coffee, having a spa day, attending a concert, going grocery shopping, or cooking together.
Carve Out Personal Time
Living with a roommate can sometimes feel overwhelming, and you may crave some time alone to recharge and take care of your own needs. It’s important to let your roommate know when you need personal time so you can prevent conflict and maintain your independence. Great activities for solo self-care can include reading, listening to podcasts, exercising, or journaling. If you can’t get alone time at home, you can also go on a solo date out of the house at a library, coffee shop, park, or other public space.
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