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How to Help Family Transition to Assisted Living

Read Time: 8 min read

Summary: Moving a loved one into assisted living involves significant emotional and logistical preparation. Key steps include making time for emotional discussions, choosing the right community based on care needs, and creating a budget, as the median cost is around $6,100 per month. It's crucial to tour facilities together, declutter belongings, and manage logistical tasks like changing addresses. After the move, help them settle in, facilitate connections with staff and residents, and maintain regular communication to support their emotional.

Preparing to help a senior family member or friend move into assisted living? The transition to assisted living requires a good deal of emotional and physical preparation for everyone involved. If you’re helping a loved one move to an assisted living facility, here’s a list of tips to help navigate this major life transition.

Graphic titled, "How to help family transition to assisted living" with two columns. The first column is titled, "Before moving into assisted living", and underneath the steps to take are listed. The steps are, make time for emotional transitioning, choose the right retirement community, research finances & create a budget, tour potential senior communities together, declutter & pack together, and manage the logistics. The second column is titled, "After moving into assisted living", and lists help set up their new space, help facilitate community connections, stay engaged & connected, and maintain open lines of communication. At the bottom of the second column, the infographic says, "Need self storage? Contact Extra Space Storage Today! www.extraspace.com".

Before Moving Into Assisted Living

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The preparation phase of moving seniors to assisted living can often be the hardest part of the process. You’ll want to find the right community, put together funding, prepare emotional support, and pack up belongings.

Make Time for Emotional Transitioning

The process of moving a parent into assisted living can stir intense emotions for everyone involved, so it’s best to discuss your loved one’s concerns, desires, and options before a move is urgently needed. If your family finds this topic challenging, consider hiring an elder mediator to bridge divides.

However, in the case that the move to assisted living is more sudden, make sure to give your loved one space to talk about their feelings while also being realistic about their needs. Senior counseling services or support groups can assist with providing additional help to both elders and their caregivers during this time.

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Choose the Right Retirement Community

Once you and your loved one have reached a mutual agreement about beginning the transition, start researching different types of retirement housing to figure out what the best assisted living facilities near you are. Consider your loved one’s capacity for independence and the level of care they will need:

  • Low Level: Residents may simply need staff to remind them about activities of daily living (ADLs) like grooming, dressing, bathing, moving around, and eating.
  • Moderate Level: Residents require assistance with some ADLs.
  • High Level: Residents require assistance with most or all ADLs, or need advanced services like memory care.

When making a list of facilities, consider their cost, level of care, reviews, proximity to friends and family, available amenities, and residents’ overall quality of life. If a senior wants to move with pets to an assisted living facility, that will be another consideration to keep in mind. Senior living resources like Eldercare Locator and AssistedLiving.org can help you find assisted living facilities or retirement homes in your area that meet your loved one’s needs.

Research Finances & Create a Budget

Take stock of your and your loved one’s finances to make a retirement budget. The median cost of assisted living in the U.S. is around $6,100 a month, though the pricing models used can vary. Many facilities offer “all-inclusive pricing” options, meaning you’ll pay a set amount monthly that covers meals, accommodations, services, and other expenses—but this cost can still be subject to change if and when care needs change. The Genworth cost of care calculator can help you determine the median monthly assisted living cost in your area so you have a point of reference when reviewing pricing options at specific facilities.

Since assisted living can be a sizable expense, there are several strategies to help supplement any out-of-pocket payments:

  • Talk to your loved one about downsizing or selling their house
  • Utilize a retirement or savings account
  • Take advantage of long-term care insurance programs like Medicaid and Social Security, which may offer some coverage for costs associated with assisted living
  • Confirm your veteran loved one qualifies for VA benefits that can aid with assisted living expenses

As you’re looking for affordable senior living facilities, make sure to also check if they offer any financial assistance!

Tour Potential Senior Communities Together

Once you’ve narrowed down your list of nearby assisted living options, schedule tours with your family member. Confirm the facility has the appropriate healthcare programs, senior living services, and amenities that will benefit your loved one—and make sure to ask lots of questions. Here are some key considerations to help choose the right retirement community for your loved one:

  • Is the staff large enough to give each resident the attention they need?
  • How do they assist residents with activities of daily living?
  • What meal services are offered?
  • Are there any social clubs or activities to keep seniors engaged?
  • How much privacy and independence do residents have?
  • How big are the living quarters, and are they clean?
  • Do residents seem happy in their environment?
  • How does your loved one feel about the atmosphere?

Declutter & Pack Together

Once you and your loved one have decided on an assisted living facility, get a copy of their living quarters’ floor plan to determine which furniture and belongings to bring along. Do a little work every day by helping sort their belongings into categories of keep, sell, and donate. Making a packing list for assisted living can be emotional, especially when it comes to photos, items with sentimental value, or collectible items. One solution for paring down belongings is moving certain items and furniture into self storage rather than selling or decluttering them. This can help ease the transition for your loved one while also staying on-schedule for moving day.

One way to make packing for the move as painless as possible for your loved one is to set a date for friends and family to get together and pack as a group. Bring snacks and drinks to make it festive, transforming an otherwise mundane packing session into quality bonding time that helps everyone process the transition.

Manage the Logistics

One of the most important aspects of transitioning to assisted living is taking care of logistical and housekeeping tasks before the move. This includes helping your loved one cancel their utilities and change their mailing address on all their accounts, credit cards, or subscriptions, as well as letting your loved one’s friends and acquaintances know their new address so they can keep in touch. Make sure all vital documents and information—like tax info, bank accounts, pensions, financial and medical power of attorney paperwork, wills, insurance, passports, and vehicle titles—are organized and secured in an easily accessible place.

If your loved one plans to sell their house upon moving into assisted living, connect them with a real estate agent so they can start staging and showing their home. And if your loved one is relocating to a new city for retirement, you may also want to hire professional movers in advance to make the moving process more seamless.

After Moving Into Assisted Living

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Once you’ve gotten your loved one’s items moved to assisted living, you can start the process of helping them get settled and connected to the staff and other residents in their new community.

Help Set Up Their New Space

Assisted living communities often have staff members who can help move furniture and other heavy items, but double-check their capability to assist. You can also hire a moving service to handle the heavier lifting. Ask your loved one if they would rather be more involved with the unpacking and arranging process or if they’d prefer to have another friend or family member take them out for the day while everything gets moved in.

Keep in mind that this space will be your loved one’s new home, so it’s important that it feels comforting and relaxing. While you’re unpacking and organizing, look into assisted living decorating ideas like using family photos and other keepsakes as decor to make their space feel warm and familiar. You can also try to arrange furniture similarly to how it was at their previous home—but make sure to keep accessibility and safety top of mind while doing this.

Help Facilitate Community Connections

Just like any move to a new city or neighborhood, the best way to help your loved one adjust to their new assisted living community is to help them get to know neighbors and staff. You should also form relationships with the staff—building these connections helps you stay informed and gives your loved one stronger support when they need assistance.

Another great way to get your loved one comfortable after moving to a retirement community is encouraging them to participate in retirement activities like clubs, events, and other social gatherings offered at the facility. This can include introducing them to the facility’s event coordinator and residents who share similar hobbies. Forming these relationships can help make your loved one’s days more fulfilling and engaging as they adjust to their new space.

Stay Engaged & Connected

If you can, make staying engaged with your loved one in assisted living a priority. Setting regular times for in-person visits or outings can help seniors feel connected to family and friends, keeping their spirits up and promoting their overall well-being. Join them for weekly meals and activities, or visit once a week just to catch up. If you don’t live in the same city, consider calling them virtually over FaceTime, Zoom, or similar video chat apps for seniors.

Encourage them to maintain ties with their existing community, too—whether that means continuing to participate in longstanding book clubs and game nights, attending their regular place of worship, or even just scheduling weekly phone calls with friends. If they don’t already have social media accounts like Facebook, help them set one up so they can easily stay in contact with friends and family.

Maintain Open Lines of Communication

Moving into retirement housing is a big adjustment, and it’s normal for your loved one to experience ups and downs in their mood. Be open to their feelings and reactions, and listen to any concerns that may come up. Keep open dialogues between you, your loved one, other family members who help, and the staff of the assisted living community.

Respect your loved one’s needs—whether that’s being an advocate for their health and desires, or giving them more independence in their daily life. Let other friends and family members know how your loved one prefers to be supported—and remember to ask for help for yourself too, if you’re feeling overwhelmed by the transition.

Frequently Asked Questions About Assisted Living

When is it time for assisted living?

In the U.S., people are usually eligible to move into assisted living when they need help with two or more activities of daily living (ADLs). Assisted living is recommended for people who may need help with rehabilitation, daily assistance, or medication management. Some facilities may also have minimum age requirements.

How much do assisted living facilities cost?

The U.S. monthly median cost of assisted living is around $6,100, for an annual total of over $73,500. However, assisted living costs ranges according to different factors—including the state the facility is in, the size of the home, how long a resident stays, the features and amenities they have, and whether or not a resident needs extra care.

Does Medicare pay for assisted living?

Medicare does not cover the cost of assisted living, most of which is defined as custodial care. However, in certain circumstances, it may help cover some costs of skilled nursing in an assisted living environment. If you need financial assistance for assisted living, look into Medicaid and Social Security for help—just know that while it can help cover many costs, Medicaid does not cover room and board expenses.

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